30GB Zunes suffering from "Y2K9" bug

In a zombie-less adaptation of Stephen King's Cell, 30GB Zunes everywhere have simultaneously malfunctioned for no apparent reason. Users will find their device simply won't boot up, freezing once the gray progress bar reaches its end. As of now there's only speculation as to why the Zunes are committing ritualistic suicide. Is it due to the onset of 2009? Is it Apple-funded terrorism? A PMP EMP? Are Zunes like canaries in a mine, and this mass-freeze is simply a portent of some imminent evil? Time will tell. In the meanwhile, if your Zune is locked up, there is one solution: surgery. We've stolen the following method off onlydarksets:

WARNING: A hard reset will delete everything on your Zune.

1. Press and hold the back button

2. Press and hold up until it reboots

3. Depending on which Zune you have, immediately do one of the following:

   1. If you have a Zune 4 GB, Zune 8BG, or Zune 80GB, immediately press and hold the Back button Back at the same time as you press the right side of the Zune pad and the Play/Pause button. Continue to hold these buttons until the Zune device restarts and you receive the following message: "Clearing contents. Please wait."
   2. If you have a Zune 30GB, immediately press and hold the Back button Back at the same time that you press the right side of the Zune pad and the center of the Zune pad. Continue to hold these buttons until the Zune device restarts and you receive the following message: "Clearing contents. Please wait."

[Story via Gizmodo, solution via onlydarksets]